Right now they are meeting again, reliving the past and no doubt making new memories and I'm sad that complications prevent me from seeing them and I am jealous that they will now have a shared experience that does not include me...
Truly, we are three very different people. Our histories are each wholly unique, our beliefs unshared, personalities, life styles, so much of who each of us is can not be compared in the least, and yes even our fashion senses are completely different. Yet, there are threads perhaps less tangible but just as significant that make us a compatible grouping and there is the rope of shared experience (summed up in one word: Japan) that ties us together. I can not think of two people who have affected me more in such a short time of friendship, or people who have been through as much with me.
Although, in the scheme of my life they occupy less than a year of it, the months we shared were some of the most significant and profound in my life. They greatly influenced in who I am today. Not only are they a huge part of who I am, but we spent nearly every day together while there and came back to our different corners of America to not see each other at all. I'm melancholy not just because I can't be with them now, but because I wonder if I will ever be with them again...
Change has been one constant in my life. Every three years since I was six months old my family has moved. I've traded houses, friends, weather patterns, schools, and so much more with every new home. It's hard to keep in contact with me (especially for me) and while I love moving I wonder about how the lack of permanency has affected me...
It seems all my shared experiences with others are short-lived, all friendships doomed to an early death, and my own attention span horribly brief. There are many homes I have lived in that I have no doubt I will never see again. Many people who have been significant to me in a certain point of time that I will never visit or even speak to again. There are parts of myself that I fear will be erased and never revisited. However, these two women will never fall into that category for me. I am determined that one day I will see them again and until that day I will
remain in contact with them for they are never far from my thoughts, especially right now.
Outfit 1 details: jacket- Urban Outfitters, shirt- Vain and Vapid, skirt- Forever 21, tights- Target, shoes- H&M, bag- Ruche
Outfit 2 details: dress- Ivy Blue, tights- some shop in Japan, shoes- Urban Outfitters, belt- vintage
P.S. Just don't feel much like talking about my clothes at the moment.
61 comments:
I have lots of long distance friendships so I kind of get you on this.
The really good ones though are always the ones where it feels like you spent a day apart and not a year.
wow quite a deep post, i hope my studyabroad is that profound for me, i hope you can stay in touch and love the yellow tights!
I have quite a few friendships with people who live far, far away so I do understand you very much. The feeling of missing them hurts quite a lot, especially when you have the feeling of wanting to tell them little everyday things and just wanting to spend some time with them. I hope you feel happier soon and I'm crossing my fingers for you that you'll see your dear friends very soon!
that was very touching. i have many friends who live in an other country, and some even live at the other side of the world, so i really understand how you feel. it is hard to be fra away from someone you really just want to hold your arms around! so, again, that post did very indentation on me. Thank you, and i hope you will see the two girls again soon! Remember, you're often not alone by feeling that way, i've learned that!
I feel it would be too shallow to say I like your outfit after such a post!
I understand what you are saying, i have many people who were major parts of my life for a while and who i still miss now but like you, from moving it means i don't get to see them. I often wonder if i would still be the same person i am today if i hadn't met the people i have met, and lived in the places i have lived.
Wonderful post, i'm sure you will see your friends in the near future.
I love the first outfit, i love that jacket, i think it looks great with every outfit you style it with.
Bye
x
I know what you mean. There are people whom I've shared intense travel or bonding or partying experiences with, and then I never see them again.
this is so heart warming.
thank you.
makes me think of my family + friends. SO much.
i live oceans away from all of them & i think of them. every. single. minute. i miss them dearly.
You just basically captured the story of my life...
I often feel like I am the only one with this problem so I am glad you shared your experience. :)
Mine is a bit long to quickly share in a comment, but I am right here, in the same spot.
Your determination will surely keep this friendship alive!
All the best,
Veronika
I love this look! The mustardy tights with the light brown shoes is an exceedingly interesting combo.
The way I see it - every situation in life has advantages and disadvantages. If we travel one road- we will be bound to wonder what the road untaken had in stored for us.
The fact you moved a lot helped you gain something that most people afraid of- the ability to change and not being afraid of it.
You gained so much, and shared so many experiences at your age that most people (including I) would die for.
I know you are upset about not seeing your old friends but, the fact you met them to begin with is a privilege you should cherish for life.
I had the exact same thing happen to me when I studied abroad for 8 months. I went with a program separate from my university. knew no one and end up making two of the best friends I have ever had (AND we are also very different from each other in many ways).
It's funny because the three of us met up about a year after for a mini-reunion which was great but then next time one of the girls couldn't make it and it was still good but lacking, if you know what I mean. Then communication got less and less consistent as our lives grew apart.
About a year and a half ago one of the girls and I decided we really needed to try harder and it definitely worked. We speak very frequently now.
I think that if someone is truly important to you and you put forth at least some effort to communicate with them - say twice a month or even once every three months - you will still have that connection.
It's a challenge, but there comes a point when you have to decided what connections have you made than are most important to you.
That being said, DON'T BE SAD because you feel like you are missing out DO know that you are most certainly being missed.
^ whoa, Rant much?
;) sorry!
LOVE both of these, and the yellow tights. and your contacts look great by the way.
It always happened. Each year I have more and more longdistance friends, it's so sad, sometimes I wonder if I'm going to see them ever again, but then it's ok, because I know they are there, even if it's not physically, I know they are there for me.
I love your black dress,
you never do wrong :)
a kiss!!
You know what's important. Your parents raised you well.
I love that asymmetrical-closure jacket.
Your writing is quite lovely.
I wonder if you have noticed that the cover story on the latest issue of "Psychology Today" is about the difference between fashion as defined by the industry as opposed to one's personal style. It reminded me of our communication on the topic.
It sounds like you are feeling a bit lonely today. Sorry to hear that. I just wanted to let you know that lide changes like that even if you've lived in the same place for many years. I have lived in this town of Athens, Ohio for over 20 years. On the other hand, many people have come and gone from here. Even though we live in the same town, friends have sometimes drifted away as our interests change and for a variety of other reasons.
I hope that you find lots of good friends to keep you company in the near future.
Have you seen Lost in Translation? Any time I get sad about not seeing travelling friends I always think about that movie. What you had existed in a certain time and place and you won't ever have that again. If you see them again it will be different (probably lovely but still different) so all you can do make is new friends and continue the journey and have the memories. But always make new memories every day.
i cant quite imagine being that. having to move all the time.
But i sure can relate to the feelings of missing out. Even for me, when i first moved from m'sia to melbourne, I already felt like the whole world's doing their things without me. I wonder how you went through all that? and still look so amazing :)
Cheer up sunny.
I have had a same experience. I went to germany for an exchange program and that deeply affected the way I viewed life.
I felt sorrowful many times (after I left, because i loved it so) and the people around me just kept on expressing how I would probably see the people I met again, one day, and that life is unpredictable and full of possibilities. Id like to reitterate that to you as well, though you know that.
Lovely outfit, <3 the tights and the second picture.
You are such an eloquent writer! Your personal style and your writing style really echo each other. And about meeting your friends again, I'm all about not forcing things and just moving with flow and seeing where the wind blows me. :)
I really hope you get to see them again! As alwasy, I love both outfits. That top jacket is stunning!
I often think it's not the duration, but the intensity of the situation which is important and while I've been in the same spot for many years, the circumstances and situations surrounding me have changed constantly. But I think we're better for it - it means we get to experience more and become resiliant against change and that helps shape who we are. I do hope that you'll get to see these special women again.
And of course, I can't leave a comment without saying your outfits are sensational.
See, I've had the complete opposite life. I've often wonder what moving all the time would be like, I probably wouldn't mind hearing any stories you wanted to share about your experiences. I lived in the same house for all of my schooling years. Same neighbors, same friends, same schools, same church my whole life.
Love the outfits by the way and it's a-okay by me if you don't wanna talk about them though!
I'm not very good at staying in touch with my study abroad friends even though they made my experience so great. I find it incredibly hard trying to stay in touch - so I totally understand!
Despite your melancholy mood, you look absolutely lovely in your photos!
i'm sorry you missed out on a reunion like that. i imagine going away to a completely different country creates friendships that are very deep and unique. i certainly hope you are able to see your friends again soon.
by the time i was 23 i had lived in 19 different houses or apartments... and a very similar thing happened when i went to my yoga training in australia five years ago and met AMAZING women that now get together regularly (they fairly close to one another in europe) without me.
it's tough - but it also makes you very adaptable and somehow (not in the way a high school guidance counselor would say...) well rounded.
sorry you feel sad honey. :(
not the least bit longwinded :]
i can't share much cos i've hardly experienced life the same as you but it's good to be able to feel and feel this way once in a while.
it's a bummer not to be able to meet up this time but definitely make another time happen!
wow...
2 things: i think you are so lucky to had lived in all those countries...
and, maybe this is weird, but i was thinking exactly the same: about a friend of mine that i just knew like 1 year (because his father is in the army) but the 30% i am now is because i met her.
i guess is part of life... someday you are here, with all those people near to your heart... and the next day... who knows!
ps: sorry about my horrible writting :S my english sucks!
its sometimes hard to
find a sense of place
but the lasting one is
in your heart.
love the photos, btw.
i feel you on long-distance friendship! also, your new dress is lovely. i linked you on my blog, hope that's okay! :) keep it coming!
the skirt and the black dress is awesome! :)
Thanks for the comment. I'm really not ready to being treated like an adult.
love the pic of you hanging on the wall
kiss
What a lovely and honest post, you have such a great way of writing where I don't get bored half way through (which can sometimes be hard with blogs)
Those pictures are also really beautiful, they look like they could be in a magazine :D
I like that jacket from UA. Also may i point out the bbq flame effect is utterly cool.
Back to wearing my thinking hat. I moved around many countries. Along the way I made many friends whom in fact I don't get to see at all.
I don't have any friends certainly friends at my age that I can see when I'm down and out. They are all in different countries so I know exactly how you feel. At least you have your family with you right? Not suggesting that what I'm saying is going to be of any consolation.
I'm someone who finds it hard to make friends (through my own insecurities compounded possibly by the misconceptions of others) and therefore I cherish my friends greatly. I can't imagine not having them just around the corner.
long distance friendships are hard but so rewarding.
love your shots as always, especially the top right one!
it's hard when friendships come to an end like that, but they may not be for you. make sure to keep in touch with them, amybe you can go on another trip together? ohhh...to travel. i just came back form holiday and wanted to stay out there. ready for a gap year but have 2 years of college to go!
Totally understand that feeling, it's odd to have significant moments and people in your life that you can never really see again. But the wonderful thing about some of those friendships is that you can those people, even if only once a year, and it feels like no time has passed since you last saw them :) Hope you do get to see the Japan (...well I can't think of what else to call them lol) girls again :) Annnd I love the jacket in your first outfit!
I felt that way after graduating from high school. Everyone went their separate ways and to different colleges so I always get a bit sad when I remember that all of us are never going to be in the same place again..
I still meet my close friends and we all make time and effort to meet with each other. Even when we're traveling.
i think so many changes have affected you in a positive way and made you who you are today & that is great! please don't regret anything and don't be sad. as for the two girls, i'm sure you'll all meet again sometimes...xo
oh god, that must be so upsetting. they'll be thinking of you the way you're thinking of them. hopefully this might make you feel better or even just distract you for a minute with whitney's background warbling.
Oh I really know what you mean... I had a friend who moved away and we are still in contact, but I'm the only one she stays in contact with and she told me about her fears!
I understand that you are sad that you can't be with them right now, but I think if you really really wanto to see them again ( I think you do, after what I read) you will see them again.
The jacket is really cool on your... a slightly 'tougher' look on you if I may say so?
I've had those types of intense-short lived friendships but I look back and think we had little in common but the situation we were thrown into...
Your tights in the first picture rock and I love how the second dress is closed in the back!
The pics are so cool.The very last one is my favorite.I love the the break with the yellow tights.awesoem outfit!
Love your look, but even more: your remarks . . .
Some of my closest friends are those I met in passing, either on vacation or at a summer job, etc.
I really appreciate that you found your encounter with those 2 gals so meaningful, I think that you will find that they remain close to you in the years to come!
xoxox,
CC
i agree with jayne, i just kind of feel like exhaling for a very long time!
but in the best possible way, and melancholy sums this up perfectly. I can't imagine growing up moving around so much, it just seems so unsettling and unnatural, but I guess is it's all you know it must really shape you, as you said.
I admire your determination to stay in touch with these important people, I feel the same way about my two best friends.
I think if you have a significant friendship, it can pick up again no matter the time limit :) I still have friends from secondary school that I don't see much any more (they are all in Hong Kong now..) but we still catch up in other ways through emails and letters.
and love the gorgeous dress with ribbon choker.
I have friends in China that I still keep in contact wit! To think that my friends in Singapore do not keep in contact wit me that often! I love the skirt, tights & the black dress! Awesome. You have great hair too!
Thank you dear!
Oh, how I love the 2nd pic! The pose, the clothes...everything!
Your clothes do look very sombre, maybe I'm just being a creepy psycholanalyst but I hope you're alright. Sometimes overthinking thinks can be quite depressing, I'm definitely a culprit of overthinking. Hugs!
A bit of a melancholy post but I totally know how you feel. It's hard to be separated from your friends and it definitely takes a lot of effort on both ends to keep it up. I can't imagine what people did before there was internet...
Love this set of photos, that jacket is fab.
i know exactly how you feel. i've lived in 3 countries throughout my life and it was definitely tough on me when i was younger. saying bye to friends was the hardest but i am positive that both your experiences as well as mine made us be much more appreciative of friendships. even though i 'hated' my parents for making us move so many times, i wouldn't change any of my experiences for anything in the world.
i hope that you get to see them soon :] it's great that you keep in touch.
love the jacket, skirt and patterned tights combo. very cool ;)
i don't have that many good friends who live far from me. in fact, most of my best friends are only a few minutes away. and yet, we hardly ever get to meet or talk anymore. we blame it on everything: work, law school, new babies. it's sad to think about how much i miss them, so i just try avoid it altogether.
the good thing though is that i know, no matter what, nothing will change. so if you and your friends from japan are really as close as you say, then for now you can be comforted by the knowledge that you will forever remain that way. (did i just rhyme? i'm sorry.:p)
and most importantly, your pictures are more gorgeous than ever!(:
hello!! i know how it feels, but it must be particularly hard for you because of the constant moving thing. from what it sounds like, the friendship you have with those girls is too true to ever die, and although it must suck to feel left out and disconnected, strong friendships last forever. dont lose hope, i wish you the best as you continue to keep in touch. the black dress is so lovely, i am such a fan.
I love the first two photos, the color tone is so cool.
I feel as though I am careless with my friendships and relationships with people, even though I haven't had to move around too much, so I can't attribute that to a lot of change.
I think that if you do really want to keep in touch with them, and you have the drive to, it's possible.
I know what you mean about the impact they had on you despite the fact that your time there was so short...but true friendships aren't things that are easily broken or dissolved, and maybe that thought will be a tiny bit of comfort.
Post a Comment