With the poll going on, on the right, I'm certain many of you saw this post coming. With the votes tallied a good majority of you believe that age is just a number and I concur.
To start, there is the whole phrase "you are as old as you feel." There is much merit to be found in this statement. While I am still young in years, I have never felt immature or goofy or even like a party-er, so is it really any surprise that I don't usually wear super high hemlines or tight fitting clothes and I definitely don't buy into trends? While picking up some acid wash jeans or trading my secondhand flats for some flips flops may youthen my wardrobe and make me look more similar to the nearly uniformed masses (heck, I could even make an attempt at hipsterdom), it doesn't change the fact that I work in an office, enjoy making puzzles, and listen to National Public Radio. I'm more likely to complain about mysterious pains in my back than how I got so wasted at that party last week--so yes, I might not dress like most twenty-one years old people know, but I'm not a twenty-one year old you know or are likely to meet in a hip hang-out. My own grandmother can be quoted as saying about me, "she enjoys the quiet life, doesn't she?"
Further, where does this concept of dressing one's age come from? And who makes these rules of propriety? Supposedly, if I dress too young or too old, there is a "proper" way to be dressed. Which honestly, let's just say it now--that's stupid. If I listened to every rule of proper dressing I wouldn't wear white after Labor Day (or is it before..?), wear green and yellow without a color in between, mix gold and silver jewelry, etc, etc. Also, let's consider the antiquated notion of what one does at one's age anyway. When these rules were followed religiously by my age I probably would have been wed with children by now. What women do and when they do it, is changing. Through modern knowledge I can have children much later in life than previously believed possible, through proper diet, exercise, and a bit of medical help I can also live longer, and with all my options before me I can forgo marriage and children entirely and follow whatever pursuits I desire. So yes, women don't dress as "age appropriately" as they used to, but they also don't live the same. Maybe our wardrobes are merely evolving to reflect our lifestyles.
Back to the second question: who makes these rules? I'm always intrigued when people (anonymous commenters, or those worst dressed list writers) tell others what to wear, because WHO are they? How do they dress that is so fabulous that makes me care what they think about my style? I'm very reluctant to give fashion advice even when expressly asked because I'm not a fashion expert and to say "here is what to do" is another way of saying "I'm right," which implies someone else to be wrong. I try not to judge other people's decisions stylistically because I allow for the error of perspective (it's just my opinion and who am I to say it doesn't work if they like it?), so it would be nice if others could be a little less egomaniacal and allow for the same flaw of perspective in themselves. Because if I don't listen to my friends, why should I listen to people I don't even know when they advise me on what to wear?
Finally, if you ask me directly if I dress my age, the answer is no. Because I don't dress according to age at all. I dress according to situation (read office job at Conservative school) and mood. It's pretty ridiculous to say I dress older than my age since I have never once been mistaken as older than my age, even in the most "age appropriate" looks conceivable (even in a work environment and professional wear people still think I'm a young teen...). It's also amusing to think I dress too young when I know when I was younger I lacked many of the sartorial knowledge and confidence I now possess. Let me finish with this: when I wake up in the morning and face the myriad of options facing me from my closet the last thing on my mind is "what would a typical twenty-one year old wear?"
Outfit details: dress- some shop in Japan, jeans- Hot Topic, shoes- Urban Outfitters, belt- secondhand
79 comments:
what a lovely dress.....
xoxo
I think there are many, many different ways of "dressing one's age," depending on social status, activities, ect. For example, around where I live there are two towns where the teenagers have very different "dress-codes." In one (poorer) town, kids dress in baggy jeans in sneakers, whereas in a slightly richer college town a few miles away, the accepted "uniform" of sorts for girls is ballet flats, designer jeans, and blouses. Both sets of teenagers could be interpreted as "dressing their age."
I could easily see the outfits that my mother (who is into fashion and style and all that) wears on a twenty-year-old slightly hippy-dippy biology student, but no one mistakes my mother for dressing too young.
So, I suppose my conclusion is this: first, there is no one way to dress one's age, and second, style can not always be defined by the age that it would be appropriate for.
Very interesting, as always! I hate to be a traitor to my generation but I suppose the most obvious response to the "what does the typical 21 year old wear?" question is, sadly, jeans and Uggs. I hadn't ever really considered whether or not I dress my age, sometimes I feel young in pretty dresses, bows and lace and other times older than my years in corporate wear or simpler outfits. Char x
Here here. I look around me at typical twenty year olds, at trends, at fashionable people, and I frankly do not care. I have never cared to dress (or act) my age because I have never considered my age to be an important factor in who I am. I am often assumed to be older than I am because I am quiet, serious about my studies, and interested in politics and society at large. My style is simple and personal.
You dress the way I always hoped I would dress when I reached this age: stylish but not trendy, appropriate to the situation, reflective of your tastes, and absolutely unique to yourself. I say, bravo.
I very much agree with your third paragraph.
And I don't know what dressing one's age is....well, to me it's b.s. What's important to me is dressing for the situation you're in: work, a wedding, a funeral, a dinner with your parents, a party with your friends. There are some environments where you can be crazily expressive and there are others where you want to tone it down.
I think like most things, the 'rules are made up by the norm, and the norm is what the masses follow. i've been thinking about this kind of this when wondering wh typical students have to dress the same.
i don't think you have to wear what the mass of 21 year olds wear because then you'd be a sheep like them! maybe dressing your age could mean more positively that now you've left teen insecurities and have confidence to dress how you want- most 21 year olds should be like that!
Hi sweetie!
I think you dress really cool, but for sure your clothes are not typical from a 21 girl. You looks older (i mean: a sexy woman, not a girl) than 21 and i think its good.
a typical girl at your age wear denin almost all the time, i guess :)
great post!
a kiss!!
well, we all know that 'style is like an expression of one's character', which evolved from the environment, habitats, the things that inspires / surrounds them... etc. so i dont think there's such a thing as 'dressing ur age' as other people dictate (and i think the people who 'dictates' are the ones who's most clueless about what style is). but then again, u know marketing.. they say whatever and we believe :)
asia vs europe is an example. i think people in asia dress "younger" since the environment (ie. japan, china) is more into anime's/cartoons, graphics, modernity, etc. - w/c actually affects the way they act, dress.. while europeans are more into vintage, heirlooms, classics since their environment itself has alot of history etc.
..stripper heels ! lol. :):):) i think only the stylish men knows the diff. bet. stilettos and a platforms!
I honestly don't think there should be "rules" when it comes to fashion. like you said, there is appropriate dress for different situations, but other than that I think it should be a creative outlet & something personal. I know some days I can go from grandma blouse to mini skirt in the matter of a change of outfit.
Perhaps another way to think about this age/dressing issue is to think about how one carries themselves in their own skin? I have found that those who brim with confidence tend to be mistaken for older than they really are, where else someone who hunches and looks uncomfortable in their skin projects the aura of a younger person.
Definitely you don´t seem to be 21 years old but not for your figure, you have very mature thoughts.
i completely agree that it's not always about dressing your age, sometimes it about dressing for the situation.
but i am still in love with that dress as much as i was the first time i saw it!
i really enjoyed reading your text. and totally agree with what you feel. i like playing around with those clichées a bit: sometimes i dress in what some people would consider "older clothes". that doesn't change how old other people think i am, though., i guess i just seem more confident to them then.
I really appreciate your commentary. I think it's funny because anymore, I feel like I'm getting too old for a lot of things that I like (I'm only 26, but I feel like a fuddy-duddy). This came to a head for me the other day when I was at the C.O. Bigelow Anniversary Party, and someone was telling me this glitter eyeliner would look great on me, and I was like, glitter? I'm too old for that. Turns out the girl (who I thought was maybe 21) was actually the same age as me.
I still didn't buy the glitter eye pencil.
First if all: what a great posting. I also don't dress by age - people nearly never look exactly as old as they are. And rules are always made to be broken.
;)
That is a really great outfit, and an excellent post.
hey! i tried to send u an email to your yahoo mail, but it bounced back. I have a personal clothes question to ask and thus the email.
do you mind giving me an email address i can email to?
thanks :}
I think you are correct. I dislike listening to advices from people suggesting how to dress up! No. I'll dress up as per my mood and occasion. Simple.
Brilliant post. I think you have a wonderful sense of style, and you convey great beauty without having to resort to the overblown showiness that has become the norm with women your age. You seem to be very wise and mature, as well, which is also sadly lacking from much of the 21 and under crowd. I always enjoy seeing your unique outfits and photo setups and reading your poetic ramblings. Best wishes to you.
I'm so glad you wrote this.
You know you're an anomaly for "your age," in some ways, in that you stay true to yourself, and you're not a slave to trend.
I really admire that.
Many girls your age (and my age) don't even know why they dress as they do.
If I could say anything about the way you dress, I'd say that it isn't related to age as a concept at all; I'd say you dress YOU. Not "old," not "young," not age-appropriate. Just YOU.
And that is the best.
I agree, people should dress acording to mood and situation. Rules don't exist anymore in today's fashion scene. Even though the shifting trends are trying to point out key elements each season, it's up to you to decide what to wear. Pushing boundaries is a way to evolve.
My best guess about the whole metro/homo sexual fear of boys is that I suppose they still suffer from the stereotypes of the whole "manly provider" thing. One can't dress well, and thus be a pansy, and still be a man, in their eyes. Which doesn't make the many less conformist, but ehh.
I also feel a little older than my years, but I'm not sure where my dressing comes in. I just dress however I want to.
Right now, a lot of preconceptions are changing, in my opinion. People can achieve things earlier in life, or later in life. We can do things that were previously impossible. We don't have to stay within the confines of what society dictates is right, and we don't have to stay away from things that society says is wrong.
And I'm with you on these negative commenters. To each his/her own, you know. There are things that we might do a double take at, but there will be someone out there who thinks its gorgeous. No one really has the right to say what's right and what's wrong, only what they do not or do prefer.
I love that dress btw, and how it's belted!
OMG speaking of age as I am celebrating my birthday this week. I think we are truly as old as we feel inside and there isn't really a rule of how a person should dress depending on age, just use common sense. I have seen 60 year old women with little tube tops and short mini skirts, which is not an attractive sight at all. But, then again, I have seen 20 something gals who can definitely afford to lose a few pounds in the same outfit and trust me that is an ugly sight as well.
as they say "age is just a number" i dress much older than i am (most people think im about twenty) but its not that i dress older to be cooler, or look sexier and all that. its really because i just like the clothes.
it's so refreshing to know i'm not the only 21-year old out there who is more into reading and learning than drinking and partying! i love your style. p.s. a lot of people who read anna karenina didn't like it, but i for one really loved it, so good luck!
What a long note for the poor english speaker I am (but very good to improve it!) I totaly agree with you, age is not a point to consider when someone built his own style. The style wich is much more a question of personnality and the expression of singularities.
By the way, I love the pattern of your blouse :)
i think the most interesting people are those who do things without first thinking of someone else's reaction or opinion.
not that i advocate people who aren't considerate, or who do things deliberately to show they "don't care what people think".
i just appreciate seeing someone really dancing to their own beat, in all ways as well as style.
that's why i like to visit you!
Screw age! Pretty dress, and you always look stylish.
I think you should dress how you want when you want...doesn't matter what age or what not.
Lovely read and your dress is surrel :)
Tart
Your dress is awesome!
One of the great things about reading your blog is that you always come up with such intelligent and interesting posts.
Being in my early 20s as well I do sometimes get sneered at for not dressing my age (such as wearing frilly lace ankle socks..) But then again I'm not dressing to please anyone but my self, if I want to wear lolita /old lady outfits then I will. Being age appropriate be damned ^_^
that pattern is lovely...
Hi,
I think "dressing older" might be a compliment after all. It says you have achieved more in style in the past 21 years than the one saying this could bring him/herself to believe.
I love your style but the more important: you do so. (And I bet you have more fun styling than the girls in the same pair of jeans each day.)
;o) christina
My mom always gets on my case about dressing like a 16 year old. And then I ask "Do you want me to look like a skanky Wet Seal ad or a hipster (then I had to tell her what a hipster was)? Becasue that's what 16 year olds around here dress like." I think dressing for your age is just another way of pigeon holeing. As long as someone doesn't guess you're 10 years older than you are, I think you're good.
Nice shirt two. It's areally nice pattern.
haha wrong to. I meant too.
You bring up some very good points here; a lot to think about, really. I think it's important that everyone asks the same questions as you do in this post. I have asked myself, as well. :]
Also, lovely outfit. One of my favorites, so far. ;]
great post. I certainly don't always dress like a typical 23 year-old, although I'm pretty sure it wouldn't make sense for me to because I've been told I'm not so typical. Interestingly, I do get annoyed when women in their 30s or older dress really teenagerish, so I suppose that makes me a bit ageist.
Fashion rules are made to be broken. Many people in the industry would disagree with that, but they would also be horrified by wardrobe_remix. I don't read fashion blogs of run-of-the-mill twenty one year olds. I read this one for the very reason that your style is unique! I think age matters to the point that one needs to dress themselves appropriately (i.e. no 50 year old hoochie mamas!), but beyond that, the sky's the limit. Your body is your own and you should be allowed to adorn it as you choose.
I think you dress nothing like a typical 21 year old would, and that is what attracts people to this blog, the fact that you are different in style is fantastic. I don't think you dress above or below your age, because you don't dress in a frumpy or lolita way to me at all. (Which is what I associate with very old or very young style.) You dress in a way that flatters you, and I think that is the key.
GREAT POST! typical=boring. You have a great eye and beautiful innovative taste.....keep doin what youre doin:)
xCC
I love love love that dress! Thanks for linking my post btw!
The whole dressing your age thing is relative, it depends on your viewpoint to begin with. For example 18y/o guys in London...pastel polo, stonewash jeans and white tennis trainers...so not me! And versatility is a beautiful thing, I like how you said you dress depending on occasion, it's the best way. Same with me, sometimes I'll dress up smart, other times I pull on a grandpa cardigan and cords, other times a super colourful hoodie!
Saying someone should 'dress their age' is kind of pigeon holing them, I disagree with the phrase altogether. Well the only exception being older women who try to dress like young women, age appropriate only applies to when something looks bad on you, not when it looks fabulous!
Oh and I'm so an old soul too, nothing better than snuggling up on the sofa with a blanket, rain outside, a cup of tea and a good book!
I agree with what you said, but the way I think of it is, who wants to be typical anyways? Where I live, everyone wears sweatpants and flip flops--yet I refuse to take a part in this look. Dressing your age doesn't mean dressing like everyone else. It's taking what you want to wear and making it appropriate.
By the way, that dress is exquisite. And I love how you belted it.
I tagged you :)
great article, I love your outfit today!!
I knew there would be many comments on this post. Funnily enough, you look very '21' in your outfit today *smirks*
i couldnt agree more! i just dress in clothes i like, whether they're from my great grandmother or forever 21. i refuse to blend in to the crowd as well. i think a lot of ppl confuse age appropriate and personal style.
also thanks for the college advice :) im sure i will have more questions lol
You mean you don't buy all of your clothes at F21, given your age? (smile)
But seriously: you dress impeccably. I love coming to your blog and seeing what you wear, and I would love it if you were 14 or 30 or 45. I feel as though stylish people (and you are one) dress in a way that makes them feel comfortable, and therefore exude a sartorial confidence that is always, to me, appropriate.
You have asked some very thoughtful questions in this blog. You asked something about who makes the rules. I think that their are two sources of the rules. One is the fashion industry, where marketing media is used to convince consumers that they need more stuff. (I'm a marketing professor. I know because I teach this stuff). The second source of the rules comes from "society" and I think that some are sexist, and some are probably good advice. Let me give an example. If a woman wears tight revealing clothes, people may presume that she is promiscuous, which may or may not be true. The good advice comes into play for those of us, like myself, who do not wish to be mistaken for being promiscuous!
very well stated. Bravo!
One more comment and then I promise I will say no more on this issue:
What does "a typical 21-year-old" mean, exactly? Or a typical sixteen-year-old, for that matter? Or a typical 45-year-old? There are so many variations within different age groups, and thus, I think no one is "typical." If the "typical" group is the popular group (which in most schools compromises less than five percent of the population), than Uggs and jeans, as someone suggested, what a typical 21-year-old would wear. But, then again, I could totally see some vapid, popular girl sneering someone wearing Uggs and saying "Those are so last season."
And, I'll use my own style as an example: because I wear more skirts and dresses and have a younger looking features than other girls my age, I could be interpreted as dressing younger than my years. Then again, my clothing tastes could be interpreted as being older than my year: forced to choose between, say, Abercrombie (which is targeted towards younger consumers and Anthropologie (which is targeted towards older consumers), I would definatly choose Anthropologie. The age factor can work both ways: while my looks could make me pass for quite a few yeas younger than I am, many people, after talking with me for a little while, have been suprised to learn that I am only fourteen.
Ps. It is perfectly possible to love both books AND parties.
First of all amazing post. Thought provoking, challenging antiquated concepts. This is what fashion blogging should be about!
I completely agree with the conclusion that you came to. Age is the most stupid way to classify people and the way that they express themselves. So many amazing, stylish people don't wear what 'people their age should' according to 'society'. Making judgements relating to age is just lazy.
Also, women in vests being the second best idea... totally. I'm thinking of doing a vest related post soon!
You are sooooo awesome for writing this. I wish I could hug you. Here here.
-A reader who agrees
Oh I totally agree. Sometimes I think I dress too old and sometimes I think I dress too young but I'm 24 so I guess I can just get away with either. In answer to your question - looking at the window at the University of Canberra in Australia most 21 year olds are wearing jeans and flip flops (we call them thongs) despite the fact that it is winter. There is also a large number wearing leggings as pants with babydoll tops, fringed scarves and ankle boots in grey or brown. There a very few who look as delightful as you.
Sweetie, I think you dress wonderfully. Who cares if it's too old, too young, whatever. Sometimes, I feel like I dress too young for my age because I'm 25, and I wear things that are trendy sometimes. But you know what, maybe all the young girls who are wearing clothes like mine are too young to dress that way.
I say you wear what you want, I wear what I want, and we'll feel cute and comfortable!
Jeez, that was a fairly inspriational little speech. The way I look at it, fashion can be seen as an expression of yourself, so if you let other people tell you what to wear, you're letting them tell you who to be. And really, who wants that? I think your style is lovely!
hmm this is a really interesting post. I like that you do not care about dressing your age and that you see it as just a number. I think I am more the type to dress for my mood or for the situation. I too definitely do not think about what a typical 21 year old would wear that seems to be off and as if it would be really stressful. anyway love the look.
you know the old saying "people make the rules so they can break them"!
^Clara, I think you bring up several valid points, but I do believe there is a "typical" or perhaps a conceived typical for many groups and when people don't follow this there is backlash. Honestly, that's a lot of what this post is about, my answer to some backlash I've had about my style and my age. When really age doesn't matter to me and it's my style, so people who it does matter to should just go elsewhere.
And yes, you can like both books and parties, no one is argueing that. I merely stated I prefered a night in than a night out--if you are allowed to like both, then please allow me to prefer one.
Just last month, some woman working at a department store asked me if I was 15. And I'm 19 going on 20 in two months.
For me, getting dressed is not about age. It's an outer expression of my creativity, my moods, and what the weather's going to be like.
I like to have fun with what I wear, not to feel "smarter" than people that wear uggs with a denim miniskirt, but just so I feel like the day has not been wasted.
The fact that I always dress appropriately and not like a usual 19 year old is just collateral damage. :-)
who cares about the others,i love the way you dress up ,and i love that you have your own style, and I LOVE IT..you are great hun!!
plus i don't dress according to age as well.
love this outfit :)
I'll be honest, I didn't read the hole thing but most of it.
All I have to say is I think you dress fine for your age. And I don't think age and dressing have a big umm I don't know how to say it in english but "rapport" (in french). Well it does, but to a certain extent.
I think dressing is more about feelings and attitude and personality. Like You can be 16 like me and totally into farming, wearing over-alls all day, you can be a punk/emo and wear black all the time or be like me and wear girly/a lot of different style things.
It all depends on who you are not how old you are.
P.S
I love your outfit! =]
you certainly look gorgeous today!
Brilliant post! In terms of dressing ones age the only "rule" I would have to make is that old people should not try and dress younger than they are. This doesn't mean that all older people should wear horrible tacky clothing, but they shouldn't wear body-con dresses for example.
That said, I adore that dress. The illustrations are charming. I'm thinking of drawing on a white dress in sharpie now...
your great :)
your intellectual ramblings are my favorite kind of entries
Very insightful post. Is there really a "typical" 21-year-old? Or a "typical" thirty-something? Is there even a "typical" person of any particular defining characteristic? When I'm flipping through a fashion magazine, some of the outfits they have for people who are older actually end up looking better than those they have for someone younger.
If I had to "dress my age," I'd have to throw out half the clothes in my closet because they'd be too young for me. I dressed really dowdy when I was 21 and didn't have the means of discovering my style until I got a little older. Some may say I dress a bit young for my age now. But I'm not dressing to please other people, and I'm not going to change who I am just to please others.
There are instances where some older women look ridiculous in i.e., cartoon character t-shirts or leggings, while others of approximately the same age look fabulous in the same. It illustrates that great style depends more on personality and physique than on age--as long as it fits in size and personality, it'll be appropriate for that person, no matter the age.
Fantastic post and it's a subject that has been much discussed but for me the bottom line is really just - age - who gives a toss? It really is dependent on the attitude of the person and with a heightened attitude, they can wear whatever they want....lovely tunic by the by
Answering your poll, I'd say age is just a number, and I'm with you: while dressing up, the last thing I'd think is how someone at my age is supposed to dress. I'm more concerned to dressing to the occasion, or according to my mood like you. Besides wearing what makes me feel comfortable about myself.. However, some rules are not all bad, sometimes it's not everyone who should be wearing all sort of clothes, like baring your stomach when you're overweight etc etc...
wow. you're so head-screwed on! and i love it!
i think that dressing your mood is and situation is the way to go! no matter what age you are.
i love it when people look completely different everyday!
it's mainly because it's obvious you are so creative!
i love your doodle dress!
carry on doing what you do best.... believing in yourself!
we admire you, it's true.
I think that the 'hipsters' of the world are actually the ones who are people like you, who don't conform or dress their age (if they don't feel like it), and these are the people who are celebrated by pretty much everyone for their style, especially in cities like London and New York.
Out of interest, why did you decide to put the poll up?
"What would a typical twenty one year old wear?" I think your answer lies there. You aren't a typical 21 year old. I love this post. It's very YOU. And agree with you on most points. We are so ues to "cultural conditioning", making each one look like everyone else... it's sad. this realization came to me one day, just like that. i had applied for a summer project and had been approached by a retail chain to be the hostess for one of the promotional events. So there i was, with some thirty other girls, all trying to get the job. And I suddenly realized that we all were clones!!! We all looked similar, dressed similar and even tried to sound like one another, not to be outdone in "cool".
It was alarming, and let's just say, i got the job by stepping out, and just making my look distinct with some small make-up touches.
u have a cool blog. do u dress for ur age? no, but who cares, it is nice and stylish
xoxo
nor should it be...I've just bought a pair of man tights and most might say that I'm a couple of years past wearing man tight but fuck it, I rock 'em! Now I've just realized that you haven't traded link with me!
this outfits slightly different from your usual ones... but i love ittt
thnkyou for the picnik site :)
what camera do you use btw?
sorry- i just love your pictures!
^Maura, I put the poll up to see what the majority of people think. I was curious to just get a honest, quick, and anonymous opinion from people who dropped by the blog.
Society likes to put people into boxes, and becomes axious and agitated when someone doesn't fit in the box they are supposed to. People also like to have their views and choices validated. When the people in the box see someone declining to join them in there, they can take it as a criticism of their choice and get defensive.
And there are no definite fashion rules, simply the existence of Vivienne Westwood proves that! Personally, I plan to get even more peculiar with age, I'm looking forward to being a pensioner going to the supermarket in a turban and cloak :-)
How appropriate that your jeans are from Hot Topic... I think true personal style transcends age, and that is certainly something you have!
Quite intriguing! The term "dress your age" is certainly limited. Age is probably a proxy for many things--body, lifestyle, budget, or even just taste. So, a better philosophy could be "wear clothes that reflect who you are now."
The dress worn as a baggy top is a really great idea! I love the print on it too
Great post! Interestingly enough, I've found that most people think I'm older than I am not because of how I dress, but because they're judging my age based on the things that come out of my mouth. When I worked at a children's toystore and talked about the developmental benefits of certain products, customers asked if I had kids of my own because I knew so much about toys and childcare products. At my job now, I've had interns who think I look younger than 23, and I've had full-timers who think I'm 27 or 28 because I come across as experienced and knowledgeable. Some of the best conversations I have are with thirtysomethings who like foreign films and travelling.
So, rambling aside, I guess what I'm trying to say is, dress how you want to dress and own it, because your "age" comes across in so many other ways that transcend wardrobe.
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